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The Fixer/Transcript
In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"! ---- Ruby Rose is lying on the kitchen counter next to the sink, with both hands wrapped around the faucet, trying to contain a leak. Ruby: Guys, we got a leak. Ahh, somebody call a plumber. Taiyang Xiao Long enters the room, holding a red toolbox and wearing a blue hat with a white hammer and wrench emblem on it. Taiyang: Sounds like someone could use a little help from... The Fixer. Ruby: No, Dad, no, we just need a plumber. Taiyang: What have I always told you girls? As long as I'm around you never have to pay for plumbers, electricians... The lights in the kitchen flicker. Taiyang: Ignore that...or dentists One of Tai's teeth pops out. Taiyang and Ruby are standing next to the counter, the faucet has been wrapped in a large volume of tape and a few drops of water spray out of it. Ruby looks concerned and is still staring at the sink. Taiyang: You see? Plumbing is my middle name! Hey, did you see a tooth around here anywhere? Yang Xiao Long is riding on her motorcycle which is moving very slowly, making sputtering sounds and emitting clouds of black smoke. Yang: Ugh, Bumblebee, come on. Maybe it's time for a tune-up? Taiyang appears next to Yang and her motorcycle, smiling expectantly; he raises his eyebrows twice. Yang: Dad, no, I have a mechanic. Taiyang: Oh, okay, that's fine. Hey, at least let me start a bonfire for you, so you can throw all your money in it. Because that's what you're going to do by going to a "mechanic". Oh, and while you're at it, throw my corpse in the fire, too. Because apparently I'm DEAD to you! Yang: Jeez, okay, fine. Do your fixer thing. Taiyang: Look at that, good as new. Well new-''ish''. A part falls off of the bike as Yang drives it past Taiyang, leaving clouds of black smoke behind her. Taiyang:Oh, you don't actually need whatever that thing is. In the distance, Ruby is blown into the sky by a torrent of water. Ruby: Plumber! ---- Sun Wukong and Neptune Vasilias walk into a dark, empty room and high-five. They are wearing fake mustaches. Neptune: I can't believe we saved all of those orphans. Sun and Neptune turn to face the room and audibly gasp. Neptune: (pointing) What is on your face? Pyrrha Nikos and Nora Valkyrie are in the room, both wearing fake mustaches identical to those worn by Sun and Neptune. Pyrrha: (singing) We want to be junior detectives like youuuu. Nora: Yeah! We're she-tectives! Sun: Right, it takes way more than a mustache to solve cases. Pyrrha turns Sun's hand over, staring at it closely. Pyrrha: You have traces of chocolate under your fingernails; there's a wrapper in your left pocket; your pupils are dilated from shame. Pyrrha places one hand on her chin before pointing dramatically. Pyrrha: I deduce you ate Neptune's candy bar. Neptune: Dude! You said all the Grimm worked together and took it! Sun: I'm sorry! I was starving, and you never share. Neptune: Okay, lucky guess. It doesn't make you a detective. Nora opens a creaky closet door. Nora: Look what I found? Nora pulls a skeleton out of the closet. Sun: Dude, I think they have better mustaches than us. Neptune: Whoa, we have a closet? Pyrrha pulls out a pair of aviator shades, putting them on as music begins to play. Pyrrha: No bones about it. Nora: (opening skeleton's mouth) Yeaaah! ---- Ruby and Yang have a glowing keyboard and mouse on a table and a holographic display in front of them. Ruby: Aw, the computer froze again. Yang: This thing's busted. Taiyang jumps into the room excitedly. Taiyang: Ho ho ho, nothing is busted when The Fixer is around. Ruby: Oh, hey dad. Think you could fix the computer? Taiyang: (hesitant) Computer? Uh, yeah. Pfft, sure, of course I could do that. Taiyang sits down in front of the computer. Ruby and Yang look at each and nod before moving sideways out of the room. Taiyang: Um, oh. Um, right, okay. Where's my cursor? Oh, there it is okay. Right. Well, nothing happens when I click on anything. Ruby and Yang poke their heads into the room through the open archway, watching their father try to fix the computer. Yang: Think that'll keep him? Ruby: Yang, the man never learned how to change his wallpaper. Yang: Fair enough. Yang and Ruby duck out as a popup appears on the monitor, reading "COOKIES ENABLED ON THIS SITE". Taiyang: Ruby, this thing says you have cookies. You know those are bad for your- A tooth pops out of his mouth and bounces across the table. Taiyang: Teeth. Category:Transcripts